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Film

Godzilla Vs. Kong

Where do I start? Oh the effects were awesome, I think at this point that’s a given; computer-generated images are older than the last half dozen girls I’ve slept with so yes, Kong & Godzilla looked good.

By: Brett Young

Where do I start? Oh the effects were awesome, I think at this point that’s a given; computer-generated images are older than the last half dozen girls I’ve slept with so yes, Kong & Godzilla looked good.

This movie mixes up Asian cultures like it’s Ashley Schaeffer 😞 The climax takes place in Hong Kong for some strange reason, even though Kaiju are Japanese! But, China has no influence whatsoever on American cinema…. I was paying attention to how there’s only one person acting in the whole movie and that’s The Skarsgård… Not a good sign. The rest are like doing a good or an evil version of the Twitter persona.

I get it Hollywood, you want the strong female woman, but could you please just write her well? I know you want the evil millionnaire to have like a powerful daughter that’s gonna take over the company, but why is she always written the same way? I get it, she’s a bitch because she calls the ape a monkey. Barren woman character that would clearly be an amazing mother, check! Don’t worry, we got that one. Indigenous and handicap and psychic rolled into one? check! ..And then there’s 11 from stranger things and her entourage of the ‘Fatties’…. These sequences could be completely removed from the movie without harming anything to the plot & pace.

The pseudoscience is so bad that the movie even forgets it’s own pseudoscience. Godzilla doesn’t do anything as ridiculous as dig a hole to China, No, he actually digs the hole from China…

OK at one point Kong pops his shoulder back in like Riggs from lethal weapon that’s a cool reference from a classic movie that was actually good. Points for that.

Brett Young is a Toronto Comedian, Writer, and Comic Book Extraordinaire

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